Self evaluate!

It is amazing how when you go to COnference the inspiration you get every time you go... you might here the same sort of message but you always get something new from it all the time... The biggest thing that I came from it was self evaluation and looking at what type of person you are.  One of them said "We have to do lists, but we never seem to have to be lists!"  I totally like that .. A TO BE LIST.....

Maybe we should all look close and ourselves and make to be lists to try and better ourselves!!

I really think that the person i am is 100% better then who I was! You know that its not good when you look back and say "I hope my son never sees me the way I used to be!" I am glad that everyone can change no matter what! Everyone can do it if they want it bad enough!! Your not going to change if you have one foot in the door of your past.... It is sometimes hard to get rid of your past..... IT ALWAYS seems to pop up! BUT as long as it just stays in the past and you dont have a relaps and go back to that way of life well then you will be ok and get through this!

Self Evaluate.... Take a look at the person in the mirror and ask yourself...... Do I like the person I see???

There is no point in lying becoz at the end of the day the only person your fooling is yourself!

I think my ultra ego is Psychotic

Everything is fine.... happy as can be.  Smiling, being nice and just having a lovely day.......

*pushing buttons, being nasty, continuely jumping down my thoat*

*snap*

#$%& OFF...... want to scream and punch someone in the face

*breath & calm down*

Lets try this again......

Smiling .... trying to be nice..... having an ok day

*push.... push ...... blah blah blah...... snap*

Really do you want me to scream and swear and carry on bcoz your making me feel really Pi$$ed off right now!!!!

*calm breath*    *a person can only take so much*   * push them to far and you never know what might happen*   *Everyone has limits*    *don't push those limits*    

Moral of the story........... Don't push someone to the edge and expect them to react calm and collect..... Expect the same attitude your given......... Maybe they will surprise you and try to kepp there cool but they can only take so much ..... when you push the boundries... well..... then maybe the psychotic ultra ego will come out and it wont be so pretty!

My rant for the day!

SO i feel that some people are trying to put me on this guilt trip. Liek things are my fault and Im responsible for the way other people feel... But all I see is selfish people... seeing what they want to see and not taking responsibilties for their actions. Actions speak louder then words... you say one thing and do another... Dont make me feel guilty if your not actually meaning any of it!

Judgemental people... I am mending my ways and trying to not be in the catagory! Peoplae have no place to judge.... when you are trying to give advice about someone and telling people... hey dont hang out with that person... just because you have an issue with them... thats being judgemental.

I understand that some people have good intentions and are trying to change and eveyone has the right to change... I know I have.... so I will give people the benefit of the doubt! We should all do the same!

I dont know exactly what Im trying to say or what This is really about... I guess thats why it is called a rant!

Ups and Downs

I hate not knowing where I stand with people.  AM I on the good side, bad side, Loving side...... I would so prefer people to be straight with me so Im not on the roller coaster called the "I Have no Freaking clue right now Whats going on" ride!!! SOOO  NOT fun... and I like roller coasters!!!

I hate doing things and planning things like crazy and then others take credit for my work!!! Bugs the HELL out of me!!!

I hate saying I will do things and then not get a chance to do it!!!

I hate missing people .... I wish I could just put everyone I know in one country and we all live happily in ONE country so we can see each other when ever we feel like it!!




LOVE the people that have helped me and inspired me.... lifted me when I was down instead of kicking me. Given me advise I will keep in my heart forever and love that I will cherish for the rest of my life. 

Love my Family for being those people ..... for all the support they give me on a daily basis..... just being their own unique and wonderful selves!!

Love my Friends especially my close ones who have helped me through tuff times and have stuck by me no matter what!!! (you know who you are) :)

Be straight with me and I will be straight with you...... BE kind and I'll be kind back...... Hurt me and I will try and turn the other Cheek (you'll have to give me time though but I will get around)...... Be friends and Family and I will keep you in my heart forever!

Thoughts Of The Day

I think about life and how the past is always there in the back of our mind... haunting us..... luring us back.... question is... do I want to go back???

WE do things that we do not like. That we are not proud of. That we are ashamed of. BUT the past made us the way we are today. If we didnt go through the things we did we wouldnt be the people we are now. I may hate the things that I have done but because of my past I can help others avoid the things that I went through. I can help them and hopefully advise them to avoid leading lives that I know they dont want.  The thing is I can give advise, I can be a friend, I can try and help in every way but at the end of the day its those around me that has a say in what they do with their lives and at the end of the day they have the final say.  I on the other hand have a choice... a choice to either walk away or help... ME persoanlly I choice to stick by... To try and help even after they have made the choice and will be there friend no matter what.

BUT My advise is .... Forget the past... you cant control what you have done.... you cannot change it... so move on and try and make life better then it was in the past and try not make the same mistakes in your future. Because if you keep dwelling on the past ... keep dwelling on what you cannot change ... you will fall.... if you walk backwards how can you see what is infront of you.... if you keep looking in the past behind you how can you see the good things in your life... how can you see the potential and the chance you have to change. If you keep looking back you will eventually just go back to the old ways and old way of thinking.. question is do you want that to happen???

"The past is history. The Future is a mystery. Today is a gift that is why its called the present."

10 PET PEEVES!!!

1) People starting a fight with me, getting me angry and then making it out like I started it in the first place!
* Like of course Im going to look like Im fighting if I look like Im ready to punch someone..... but hello you put me in this mood in the first place!!!!

2) Doing things and thinking Im helping and then people point out not what I have done but what I havnt!
*You know I always try to help especially if I think that people need help.... Im feeling all good about it then BAM.... WHY didnt you do that???...... GRRRRRRR

3) When I miss doing something just a few times... people really point out were I have dropped the ball and forget all the times I helped.
*No body is perfect .... not every mom can do everything all the time and have the place looking like no body lives in it....everything in the right place... I try but Im human!!!

4) People seeing me in a negative light!
* I know Im not perfect.... I know I have flaws but Im not a bad person so I dont like when people treat me like I am!

5) People treating me like Im stupid!
* I am no academically smart but Im not STUPID... so dont talk to me like I am

6) People telling me what to do...
* Ask me... dont tell me.... Ill help you.... but if you want my help Il do it in my time and my way.

7) Pregnant people smoking and drinking!
* If you want to do that stuff fine but cant you control yourself for 9mnths just while your pregnant or are you that selfish! If you want to kill yourself thats fine but dont harm your baby too.

8) People touching my feet..... not just anytime..... but to wake me up!
* People touching my feet to wake me up drives me crazy you can touch my arm, leg, face anything WHY the FEET!!!

9) People grinding their teeth
* Some people say that I did it when I was younger I have no memory of that so it never happened... but that is soooooooooooooooo annoying! Joey does it sometimes and OH MY WORD.... it is like nails on a chalk board

10) People who tell me how to drive!
* I know I can drive maybe not the way you want me to but I can drive..... have you seen the other idiots on the road..... if you think Im as bad as that your CRAZY!

We are in charge of how to act. We are in charge of how we react. We are in charge of how we feel. We are in charge of how people see us. WE are in FULL control of ourselves.... SO.... if we are down, depressed, miserable, disappointed, well the only one that can change how we feel is ourselves!!! WE are the ones that make our lives BRILLIANT or TERRIBLE we just need to decide which one we want.  I think that we tend to see life in a negative way its tuff when negative things are happening in our lives but even if it is we still need to be positive, upbeat and happy otherwise we wollow in self pity and wollow in our own misery.... yeah ok sometimes thats all we want to do, and yeah I have totally done that... but does it help??? NO! Does it help you feel better??? NO! SO why do we make that an option???

I have to say I could of seriously gone off the deep end with everything that has happened in my life but again where would that have gotten me??? Would that have helped??? NO WHERE!!! AND NO!!!
When you are a parent you cant just do what ever, you have a little person counting on you to be strong and be there for them so going off the deep end and being a totally physco would not help you or your child... if anything it would make matters 100% times worse!!!

You think about things too..... You wonder when your a single mom... I can do this.... I can handle this 100% .... any single parent is lying if they say they have everything under control.... It is just not possible! You always need that help. Always need that support. I am grateful enough to have my parents but lets be realistic you cant live with your parents forever! You need that mother and father to give that child balance. I mean a MOTHER and FATHER.... PARENTS.... HUSBAND and WIFE.... to have that balance and security for your child. Mothers can teach children only so much and fathers teach them the other things that mothers have no experience in what so ever. Mother is there to nuture and give guidance. Fathers are there to provide and protect and give counsel. ALSO the whole parents just living together and not getting married is a load of crap.. I have already had a rant about it but since Im on the subject again I'll say it again... The reason people dont get married is becoz its an easy way out if things dont work out.... If you truely love each other then marriage should not be feared.... if you want that sercurity for your children then again MARRIAGE SHOULD NOT BE FEARED. I know I know Im single but that is because I stuck to my choice of wanting to get married.... others disagreed. AGAIN ONE MORE TIME IF YOU DIDNT HEAR ME THE FIRST TIME......... IF YOU ARE AFRAID OF MARRIAGE THEN YOU ARE LOOKING FOR AN EASY WAY OUT BECOZ YOU ARE UNSURE THAT THE REALTIONSHIP WILL LAST!   Thats MY views I totally understand that people will have an issue with that statement but Im not forcing you to think the way I do.... I respect other peoples opinions so I think mine should be respceted to! BUT you know what I know its true because I know soooooooo many people that have been all "happy" with their guys and then girls get pregnant and BAM dude is like "SEE YA" GONE! Which brings me to another point SOME guys ( I say some because I not going to brush all guys with the same brush), but SOME guys love the title of DAD.... but NO responsibilties! They are to busy thinking about how this effecting them while forgetting that their is more then them involved in the equation! I think marriage just shows how much people truely love one another and give that security to their children... And all those that say " I dont need a piece of paper to prove my love" Then my question is ... If its just a piece of paper then whats the big deal of getting married??? Why do people fear it??? because they doubt the relationship will last and they want a way out and dont want to deal with a messy divoirce!!

But back to what I was talking about before my little rant.... POSITIVE THINKING!!!! The way we think is the difference between being happy and sad. BUT JUST DO IT!!!!